so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
