You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Randomize
