let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
