he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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