Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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