can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize