I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
