Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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