She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize