He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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