your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My bed smells like the plague
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize