I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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