Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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