I hate all girls vehemently.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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