D3 body, D1 cock
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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