You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
