i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
