he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
love makes seman taste better
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
