I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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