so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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