What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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