Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
