I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
