No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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