I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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