from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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