I will die if light touches me.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
