booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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