who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
