How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
