what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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