Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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