He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
