so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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