may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
