He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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