were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
