I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize