Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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