I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
