you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize