Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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