I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
