win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
