Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
