I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
