i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
