Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
