No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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