just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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