Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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