Please, let me fuck your mom
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
