So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
