Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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