you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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