listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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