I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
