I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
