I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
