she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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