It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
