Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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